We all go through periods of our lives that are not as good as others.
I’ve had my fair share of challenging times – and I’m sure – if you’re reading this – you have, too.
((BTW thank you for being a loyal supporter, my love to you))
The first word that comes to mind when I think about any period of my life that I consider especially challenging is ‘stuck.’
In fact, I remember the first time I used the word, ‘stuck.’
It was nearly 2 am on a rainy night in Boston. I sat on the floor of our ‘mod’ at Boston College, and called my parents in New York. When they simultaneously picked up the line – hearing their hoarse, concerned, familiar voices – I sobbed. Through clenched teeth and tears, I told them, ‘Guys, I feel stuck.’
Basically, I had finished my majors earlier than anticipated and had too much time on my hands, despite the few classes in which I had enrolled. To some people this sounds like a gift – and in retrospect, it was. But for me, too much time notoriously led to too much thinking, which at that time, often lead to too much drinking. Undoubtedly, these two factors were largely contributing to the way I felt.
Retrospectively, I completely acknowledge that I wasn’t stuck. In reality, I was in a cushy situation that also enabled me to be totally liberated and free. I was blessed enough to have the opportunity to receive an education at one of the best schools in the country.
I also acknowledge that this doesn’t compare in degree to other situations in which I have felt stuck. And it might completely vary from situations in which you’ve felt stuck.
Back then, I was worried about silly, timely, and socially relevant, things, like: growing up, taking charge, moving away, starting a career, missing friends, making new friends, making money, paying off college.
– and I contemplated all of those things amongst a good bit of help, which most people cannot say.
Of course, many worse things have made me feel stuck.
Like losing an ex-boyfriend, ending a friendship, getting dumped by the guy I thought I’d marry.
Maybe that sounds more familiar?
My point is less about the story or the situation that causes you to feel stuck – because these situations vary from one person to the next in intensity and consequence, and there are many other factors at play, like politics and economics, that make it easier and more realistic for some people to feel stuck than others.
But regardless of your situation, if you do feel this way – if something in your life prompts you to feel immobile, lost or helpless – I promise you there is way out of this feeling. And while I can’t promise you that your situation will change overnight, I can promise you that this will help you change your situation.
Change how you think about your situation.
Your thoughts become your beliefs. Your beliefs rule your behaviors. No matter how dire your situation seems – align your beliefs with your values. Make them positive and be as open and authentic as possible when assessing your values. If you’re unsure of your values, meditate or sit in silence. Let your soul speak.
Identify the primary reason you felt stuck.
Make a reasonable, achievable list of ways you an stop feeling like this. What is one thing you can do every day to improve your situation?
Ditch the negative self-talk.
Eliminate the word ‘stuck’ from your vocabulary. It doesn’t exist. You are never completely boxed in – even when everything seems hopeless. You have options. Believe it so you can see the opportunity when it presents itself.
Acknowledge the feeling – and then let it go.
Your emotions have a purpose. They only create problems when our negative feelings linger too long. It’s okay to feel sad, fearful, angry, anxious. Acknowledge the range of emotions you possess and if something feels off, try to identify the reason you feel that way. Then, little by little, you can work on shifting or improving the thing that you think is contributing to how you feel.
A large part of moving forward and eliminating the feeling of being stuck is by openly accepting change and new beginnings. Change is inevitable so establish your flow so you can experience peace and harmony.
Your situation might not be great. It might have never been great or it might have been great at one time before. The good news is there’s always the ability to change it. There’s always the ability to create the life you want and fulfill the promises you’ve made to yourself and to others.
You simply need to attain the right mindset. You need to believe it will get better. You need to think thoughts that are empowering. Thoughts that render you capable of handling all things that come your way with grace and a bit of grit. And more likely than not – a dash of cosmic goodness.
Want to share your story? Write to me: firstname.lastname@example.org.