On TheRealChristinaLee.com, we talk a lot about self-limiting beliefs and how they can hold us back from our God-given destiny.
But what we have not yet truly touched on is the concept that self-limiting beliefs often come from outside of ourselves. Often, beliefs that we are not good enough or capable of achieving our potential, come from other people and over time. With enough internal repetition, these negative, self-limiting beliefs become ingrained in our minds and eventually, drain our spirits.
How do we avoid believing anything negative or self-limiting?
By remembering that God, He who possesses a power greater than the opinion of anyone else, placed a specific dream in our heart. Maybe it was to sing, or write, or teach or practice law or become a doctor or raise a family. Whatever it might be, that dream is specific to each of us. It cannot be tainted by what anyone else says, unless we allow it.
How do we identify our destiny?
We likely don’t have to, because it’s always been with us. We probably loved as a child, and if we’re in tune with our souls and aligned with Spirit, we find ourselves naturally affixing to it in our spare time. We know deep down this is what we are supposed to do because we are called to it through our deep sense of passion in our practice.
What if we can’t identify our destiny?
It’s likely because of the self-limiting beliefs (as a result of others self-limiting beliefs that they impose upon us) that made us feel we are incapable of realizing and fulfilling our destiny. In other words, along the way we told ourselves we are equipped to “do it,” most likely because we heard this from someone else.
Don’t worry, you’re not alone. This is why I share my personal story.
This happened to me. Two things that I was told by someone I was very close to and had deeply admired stuck with me for a long time. These were: I was sick and I needed help / was incapable of taking care of myself. Regardless of my state of health at the time, which was not ideal, what do you think happened? Through repetitive hearing but more importantly repetitive replaying of this person’s words, they became my reality. Moreover, I relied upon and looked to this person constantly to help me with my health.
While I was struggling with health issues, they only became worse as I believed the words spoken over me by someone that I deeply cared about. The problem was, even though the person that spoke these words likely believed them and perhaps even thought they were being helpful, these words were not truthful.
Unfortunately, we cannot control other people: including what they do or say to us. But over time, we can we can learn to control the thoughts we have about what people think of us and most importantly, about what God thinks of us, which is that of a masterpiece; fearfully and wonderfully made. In God’s eyes, we were made in the a perfect image of Him, each of us equipped with unique gifts and powers. Yet, society and people are so quick to discourage us from our natural gifts and capacities. Why? Likely because they were also fed self-limiting beliefs, and did not have the tools to reframe their thinking and align their thoughts with God’s, which are both positive and authentic.
You don’t need other people’s affirmation
Though, of course, it’s normal. And we all seek it to a certain degree because deep-down, we all want to belong. The good news is we already do belong. As Christians and people of faith, we already belong to the most High Power, God.
Here’s another personal story about believing self-limiting beliefs…
Another person in my life that I was very close to often told me two other things: I had anger problems and would have trouble in relationships. Because I took others words so seriously for so long….what do you think happened? Yep, I believed these lies for years and became more isolated in my friendships, less trusting in my business relationships, more upset when something went awry, and more quick to leave when I found love.
Looking back, though hindsight is always 20/20, I could’ve taken these words with a grain of salt, most especially because they were a direct reflection of the person that had spoken them. This person had negative intimate relationships their entire life and had often had angry fits, seemingly for no reason at all. Yet, at the time, I could not see these words as a projection of the person that spoke them. Instead, I saw them as a direct reflection of me. So here is what I came to believe until recently: I was flawed, I was angry, I was troubled, I didn’t know how to be close to someone. And here’s the other thing: I didn’t isolate or distance myself from other people because I didn’t think they were good enough; I do so because I didn’t think I was good enough.
It’s especially hard to accept that people you love will hurt you or misread you…but it’s also a part of life. The good news is: the closer you get to God the more you will find and become closer to people that treat you better, understand you better and love you better.
Don’t let what anyone – except God – says about you to determine your destiny.
More importantly, don’t let any negative speak keep you from fulfilling your God-given destiny. You know deep in your heart and soul what that is. You have to keep the faith not only in your God, but in your dream.
Many successful people thank their “haters.” Why is that?
Because they spun negativity into gold. They took words meant to harm them and used them as fuel to propel them. They took criticism as currency to move forward. You can do this, too. We all can. It simply takes time and patience, as we must reprogram our minds. We must delete any comments – initiated by ourselves or others – that doubt us. We must replace these with positive words, thoughts and speak. In the process, we must express gratitude to those who doubted us, for it made us stronger.
None of us have been blessed with perfect relationships or people in our lives. This is the beauty of our pure relationship with God. So let us thank God for all of the positive and negative feedback we have received and our ability to understand that we can transform anything negative into something positive, through our faith, and fulfill our beautiful and unique destinies.
Blessings + love