It never sounds quite right.
Probably because it’s a word we equate to some major heart-skippers: breakdown, collapse, crash. It’s the same word we use to describe the deterioration of a corporation – or a person. But more than a word, failure is an emotional experience disguised as a word – yet often we omit it from our conversations.
The feeling of falling. The fear of trying again. The concern that you are no longer qualified or not good enough. All based on the false claim that failure is something to overcome or avoid. When really, it is something to accept.
You can see that society has made us skeptical about accepting failure, because of the degree of uneasiness present in conversations about failure; how often it is marked with negative words or undertones.
Most people simply don’t like talking about failure – especially when it applies to their own experiences.
This is probably unsurprising – despite the fact that nearly everyone has experienced the feeling of failure in some capacity – because we have been conditioned to feel pain and shame as a result of failures.
But failures are really just undesired outcomes.
And in order to get the outcomes you desire, you need to stop negative self-talk as a result of the negative emotions you attribute to failure.
You need to replace your negative feelings about your failures with positive ones.
I know that last part sounds ironic, and I’m not insinuating that you should celebrate every mistake or setback.
But I am suggesting that cease all self-sparring so you can get back in the ring.
You might need to change a few things first, like your objective or strategy.
But more than ever you need to continue to set and meet goals your goals to boost your confidence.
So regardless of what you set out to achieve, remember this
- feed yourself positive messages about how good you will feel when you hit your next target / meet your next goal
- remember how you felt the last time you succeeded at anything – big or small. meditate on this.
- develop a strategy to reach your objected desire or outcome (start small, and then customize / build upon it)
- ensure that your strategy incorporates lesson(s) extracted from your failures — just don’t spend too long extracting!
By applying the above strategies, watch how quickly you not only bounce back from your failures, but reach entirely new heights by successfully and consistently achieving new goals.
Just remember to embrace and support yourself on your journey – as you would for everyone else’s.